My Thoughts on Thesis

In a few days time, my thesis-mates will graduate and receive their medals for winning Best Thesis. Well-deserved, in my opinion; they worked extremely hard for it. I pushed them more than I've ever pushed anybody. I had to. This was thesis. Thesis is everything. A culmination of every single lesson that you've learned over the years. The ultimate test.

I decided that I was going to win Best Thesis. It made no sense otherwise. Why would I let glory escape from my grasp? Why would I allow this opportunity to go to waste? It would be the perfect end to my journey through Game Design, an appropriate milestone in the narrative of my life. I had nothing else in mind but victory. To live forever, I had to win.

I mentally prepared myself by telling everybody that I was going to win. I told my parents, my friends, my classmates, my professors. Every person that would lend me their ear would never hear the end of it. Thesis term hadn't even started and I was already hyping myself up.

Overconfidence? Hubris? Self-fulfilling prophecy? My friends tell me I do that way too often that it's scary. To announce that I would do something, and then do it. Not always flawlessly, but the attempt is all that matters to me. I guess I can attribute that to my stubbornness or never-ending willpower. I told everyone that I was going to win, and now that they all knew... I had to actually do it.

When thesis term started, I didn't even have a group to work with. I walked into the General Assembly with no group in mind. I had no idea who was taking thesis at the same time, so I threw caution to the wind and went in blind. Although I was excited to win, I was also not above losing. I think at that point, I was resigned to just creating something that I could be proud of. I would try my damned hardest and if I won that would be amazing, but in the back of my mind was a hunger.

I eventually found my groupmates, a ragtag group of misfits sitting together quietly. I've worked with each one of them previously, in other projects, and I felt that there was a great synergy between the members. I approached them with my idea and after explaining it a bit, they liked it! The way ideas flowed during our meeting right after was the best feeling in the world. Confidence filled me. We could actually do this. We could actually win.

I created a facebook page with an enigmatic title. This way, I hoped people would spend at least 20 seconds thinking about what it could mean. What was important to me was that people knew that it was being worked on, that progress was being made with the project, and that people could imagine what the project could be without even playing it.

My mind was split between working on the project and talking to people about it. I believe that being a good example during development, showing people how to properly prioritize their time, and teaching them where to place their value is extremely important.

I presented myself as a person to emulate to the lowerclassmen, during my stay in school I never really had anyone to look up to. I had no idea how thesis was done, or how to even approach it. I used thesis as an opportunity to build bridges, to connect with people and share my knowledge. I talked about the project to anyone that would listen. My goal was to show the younger batch what it meant to be in love with your work, that they should not be afraid of criticism.

While I do respect that for some people to be able to progress, they shouldn't be pressured; but I strongly believe that for us to fully realize our potential, we have to challenge ourselves. Having experienced losing so many times, I've trained myself to accept loss gracefully. Putting myself out there, risking my reputation on a hunch, fighting and standing up for my beliefs; experiencing all of these emotions is what is important for when we chase our dreams.

Admittedly, I am extremely competitive. Although I believe doing your best is acceptable, I have always tried to push myself to come up with something beyond my perceived capabilities. Every obstacle I encounter is an opportunity for me to grow, my approach in dealing with them is what defines me. Diving head-first into the unknown is a past-time of mine, especially if it means being the first to do it.

Being thesis, this was my last chance at proving my worth. The ultimate test of my ability to apply the things that I've learned. More than that, this thesis was a great opportunity for me to show people how to approach their final project for the course. A chance for me to extend a hand to the lowerclassmen and provide a glimpse into the most intense challenge of their lives.